yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
the raccoons are back...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize