i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
