I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
