bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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