To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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