He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
