Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
