he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
