just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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