I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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