Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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