Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
