I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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