no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
