Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
