i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
