I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
