i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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