omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
