Don't you send me to vm
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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