just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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