he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
