bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
