best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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