I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
