Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
