this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
