Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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