I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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