hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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