Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
