I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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