I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
