His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
