We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
