Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize