Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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