she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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