evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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