i don't like sucking hair
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
