Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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