somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
