did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
