so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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