I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
