You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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