im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
