I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
