i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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