I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
