alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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