just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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