help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
