carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
