i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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