just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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