what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
