I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
