Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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