Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
