I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize