She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
