He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
