my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
