wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
