is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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