Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
